Do I Deserve It?

Sometimes people think they have the rights to this and to that. “I have my rights!”, “This is my rights!”. Nothing strange in today’s world context. (Although this is not the case in other places.) I think and I feel that most people around me live life demanding something. I have to say I do that too unknowingly. At times, this demand comes in many ways. If I needed someone to help me and that person chooses not to do so, should I be angry? Who am I in the first place to ‘demand’ help from another? It’s so nonsensical to be upset over it. Not that people do not need to have certain expectations on things like achievements and goals, but it seems more  that the expectations are to be met with a silver spoon on a silver platter instead of hardwork.

All I can say, so far in all my ups and downs, I don’t deserve to be where I am today. Not that where I am now is something great or commendable. But looking back and counting my blessings, I shouldn’t be anywhere close to even where I am today. I have nothing to complain over another person’s success.  I can’t even claim any of my past achievements as my very own success and brilliance. From the earliest things that I’ve so-called attained up until to my recent securing of a job doesn’t mean much of an independent success that should be credited to me. Looking into the details and the specks, I’ve learned to acknowledge that God has His fingerprints in every events that I’ve gone through- though I may not understand every fragments. So do I really deserve to make demands? Sometimes I’m puzzled by the empty ramblings of some attention seekers. It seems more like there is a hidden demand that is needed to be made known to the world somewhere around the corners of their ramblings. “Why this isn’t this way?”, “Why is this like that?”, “Why is my life this way?”, “Why am I so emo?”

At the end of the day, I’m just a grateful ordinary guy who deserves nothing. It is grace flows down that I could not comprehend.