The Slow Thinker…

I’m writing this post while waiting for my crazy 2 hours download on SP2 for my Windows or else I won’t be able to update my MSN. This sucks. Microsoft sucks!

Something that I discovered about my brains. I’m a slow thinker in many ways. I tend shoot out words out of my mouth without thinking 3 steps ahead sometimes. Yes, I do think 3 steps ahead when I shoot out words, but the 3 steps are counter-attacking, counter-attacking, and counter-attacking. But most often I fail to think 3 steps ahead of “how do they feel?”, “what if I were in their shoes?”, and “what a whole misconception that they would have on me?”. At least these 3 initial thoughts should be ignited before I jam up on the pedals and ram into somebody else. As Chan puts it “It’s better to held back some words and not writing it or somebody might get unnecessarily hurt.” I’m paraphrasing it.

That’s where my reflections on things passing by on me became much more poorer. You can’t possibly reflect on anything unless you’re in a clear state of mind. If you’re too clouded with many things, you’ll fail to see the thin silver lining in the sky. I realised this when new year was approaching.  I realised what a terrible mistake I did to some people when I was in Myanmar. What more to a friend who is a Psychological specialist graduate. Some things are unintentionally. In the most honest possible way to really mean it- unintentionally. Still it give people some twank of unconvincing-ness. Throughout the entire year of 2010, I realised I could turn left instead of turning right. I could have said “okay, lets try it" instead of “argh, that’s not cool” I could have held on instead of letting go. I could have said “no.” instead of “yes.” I could have reached out into the small opening window of heart instead of letting it shut. I could have…. not think too much right now.

The thing is, people need to sometimes do less talking and more thinking. Not necessarily every time or you’ll end up looking like you’re either some guru who just came down from the mountain or from the asylum. People need to be more ever-present. To be aware that what they are doing now affects their future. Not to be too afraid to make mistakes now, but to be sober enough to make the right choices- or the brighter choices. You may sometimes end up in the puddle of mud, but that’s ok. Just move on. And hope that tomorrow you can make better choices than today.

Good night.